Ok, so I'm not sure why I do this, which is why I'm writing about it.
Often times when I'm in a situation where I can choose to react to someone in two different ways, I'll get a little feeling about how I should act; but I often push it away. I think it might be a control thing. I don't want to do what I'm being told to do, I want to do what I want to do (even though it makes me feel miserable).
For example, saying sorry to someone I just snapped at (when they clearly deserved it). Or going outside to watch my son play when he's begging me to stay with him (even though I've been out there for 15 minutes already and I'm bored). Or giving in and admitting I was wrong (ugh, I hate this one). Or tucking my daughter in instead of watching my favorite show -(even though I already went upstairs with her while she got ready, kissed her goodnight and told her I was going downstairs).
But, my excuses are besides the point. I should listen to that feeling, I really should. But I so often do not. I ignore it, push it away and choose the selfish, not as good feeling, easier path.
Why? Why? Why don't I just make the simple choice of doing the right thing. Let's see, path #1 - doesn't really take that much more time and makes me happier, makes other people happier, and I feel better about myself. Or path #2 -Think only about myself. Do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and end up feeling grumpy and upset and feel like a lousy person.
Geez! You'd think it would be more obvious.
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